the inaugural blog post....

My vices (two of many) are cheesecake and chocolate.  In isolation, each can be wonderfully unique and rich but also bland or unworthy of the caloric content. In isolation, each is likely benign. In isolation, each is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things. Together, however, the combination defines excess, extremes and decidance.

Too often in my life, my goal has been to live in the "middle of the road". "Keep your head down, Miller", "Just get through it", "Play it safe"....have been familiar facets of my internal dialogue. Too often, though I dip my toe into the "extreme" or the "decidant"  from time to time, I have been too afraid to ever contemplate "living there". This isn't to say that a life of balance isn't something to strive for. However "balance" and "safety" are two very different things.

Like many others, I have experienced pain, trauma and heartache. I can only think that my desire to play it safe has been a result or byproduct of that pain.  Trauma creates a desire to avoid more trauma...and thus has forced me into the "middle".

Wait.

"Forced me...."?

I have ALLOWED the pains of my past (big and small) to create a desire for safety that ultimately is nothing but an illusion. There is no safe place beyond the arms of the God who created me. It is HE who desires for me to live a life that takes chances; a life lived inside the extremes. NOT extremes that serve to hurt me or others. But extremes, nonetheless.

I suspect it will be a slow process, but this blog will serve to chronicle my efforts to push beyond my desire for safety and into the realm of the "risky", the "dangerous", and the "bold".

I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, an educator, a leader, a friend.  I would rather die now than to ever be known as a "middle of the road" or "average"...anything. Like so many...I want to live an exceptional life; a life of Cheesecake AND Chocolate. Not to serve myself or my own ego (at least on most days) but to be of service to others; to make someone else's life better...even if just for a short time.

I don't yet have a strategy. But I know I am no longer comfortable with my personal status quo.

Wish me luck on this journey! Good luck on yours!